Recipe for Disaster...
Ingredients:
1 overly tired and possibly grouchy CPA on October 15th, said yes to cookie making
3 trips to the grocery store
1 assistant director (AD)of Mr. Cheeks Daycare center who got confused when I said I would help with the Halloween party, not the new director meeting /reception
1 glass of pre-mixed margaritas, gold variety
1 husband to watch munchkin
Actual cookie ingredients
Directions:
Type "no" response to AD's request for cookies. Delete and say "sure!" Kick own ass.
Go to grocery store on Sunday afternoon at 5 o'clock (after nap)
Tear open package of butter flavored Crisco* to get cookie recipe, while looking around furtively for grocery store police
Put chocolate chips and butter flavored Crisco in buggy, also brown sugar.
Get distracted because cans of Similac in the old packaging are on sale FOR HALF PRICE. Put four in buggy.
Cashier apologizes for opened Crisco package, have to tell her I did it myself.
Call husband upon exiting store to relate good formula fortune. Also call Nan. (Shut up. Half price formula is AWESOME.)
Make husband unload groceries, including the approximately 421 jars of baby food.
Get out mixer. Clean dust off mixer.
Gather ingredients.
Um, not enough vanilla, also thought I was almost out of sugar, not flour.
Get in car, go to Piggly Wiggly.
Start mixing ingredients. Realize I have no baking soda.
Say lots of bad words.
Get back in car, go to closer, fancy grocery store, hoping for some yellow Arm & Hammer boxes.
Find baking soda. Only in Freezer/Fridge pack, pay my .85 and get the hell out of there.
Go home, realize that baking soda does not have ingredients listed, could possibly contain some toxic deodorizer like rat poison, look on Internet. Can't find anything. Think, "It's only 1/4 teaspoon, probably won't kill anyone."
Put in bowl.
Read wrong end of recipe card. Put in three cups of flour instead of 1 3/4 cup. Do math and scoop out extra. (This takes a long time. Math is hard.)
Pour last glass of margarita.
Finish mixing cookies, put on pan.
Toast third pan of cookies because of Internet distraction.
Make second batch.
Make TP "test" a cookie for possible toxic/death causing chemical in baking powder.
Does not clutch throat in death throes; Deem cookies save for consumption.
Assemble on platter. Pray that no one dies, or says the cookies taste like ass.
Bake at 672 degrees, since it is OCTOBER AND IT IS 80 DEGREES OUTSIDE AND THE OVEN MAKES MY HOUSE HOT, for 3.5 hours. Hope for the best.
*(This makes the best cookies, also does not taste good raw, so no sampling)
It's almost worth me driving to whereever you are for the 1/2 price "old" cans of Similac! And I totally yelled at my husband when he brought home the "new" cans because I thought he bought the wrong ones.
Posted by: Amy W | October 19, 2006 at 11:42 AM
Yah for cheap formula! [why can't Enfamil change their design?]
I have a $5 for Similac [good til 12/5/06]...could you use it?
Posted by: JoyLynn | October 19, 2006 at 12:50 PM
Awesome entry! I feel bad for laughing at your woes though. Also, I'll trade you weather. I'd love for it to be 80 degrees here. It's 40. Seriously. Want to trade?
Posted by: Jessie | October 19, 2006 at 02:14 PM
Hell yeah, 1/2 price formula is AWESOME! My daughter has to drink Similac's Alimentum and, HELLO, it's freakin $25 per can!
Posted by: Rachel | October 19, 2006 at 04:07 PM
Um, now I want me some home made cookies.
Why didn't you just buy the damn Pilsbury cookie roll of dough love? SO much easier. But points for 'goin' all the way'! Hope everyone is still alive and well.
Posted by: samantha Jo Campen | October 19, 2006 at 07:08 PM
Should I be worried that a CPA says math is hard?! :)
I remember (way back in the days - 6 months ago) when Emily was using formula I happened across an end cap in Target with 30% off Similac formula. The pack was one big can of powder and one jug of the premixed (worth more than gold bullion) stuff. AND I had a couple of those $5 checks AND a coupon for buy 2 get $5 off, or something like that. I wound up getting a TON of formula for like $5 EACH! I was so excited. I totally called my husband and told him all about the good deal I had gotten on formula. And then I went back with more coupons and did it again.
Posted by: Erin | October 20, 2006 at 07:43 AM
You crack me up! However, I discovered that I must make cookies way too much because I have the recipe memorized. Hmmm.
Posted by: Stacey | October 20, 2006 at 08:55 AM
Weather - I hear you! We are back at 77 today. WTF? Of course, back to 62 tomorrow. We'll all be too sick to care soon.
Baking - I made two loaves of banana/butterscotch chips/oatmeal bread last night and also Lawyerish's moist pumpkin bread last night. Yumm!
1/2 price formula - hands down, that is the best news you've had all week. I well remember formula days. I think it is liquid gold. Much like the $100 Zyrtec I have to buy now for Tigger....grrrrr...
Posted by: CPA Mom | October 20, 2006 at 01:49 PM
This is too funny. I think the margaritas should be a required ingredient for any cooking endeavor. (perhaps that will be my strategy at Thanksgiving...)
Posted by: Nancy | October 24, 2006 at 02:27 PM