Mrs. CPA

Night. (Not Really, but I'm too lazy to change the title now.)

I was going to write this totally hilarious hour by hour account of how we end of playing musical beds here every damn night. I mean, how can 3 am baby juggling, leaky pullups, juice, and a thunderstorm rattled St. Bernard jumping on you unexpectedly not be coffee spittingly LOL!?

It wasn't.

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Maddie has pneumonia again. I am making her an appointment to go to a pulmonologist. No 7 month old gets pneumonia three times in four months.

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My anniversary is Sunday. Six years. It's also my sister's birthday. Twenty-Five years. Neither of those numbers reflect the maturity levels we should have achieved by now.

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I'm the top candidate for the job I mentioned earlier. Hopefully be the end of the week, I'll be employed again.

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We are going to Birmingham for a visit in a few weeks. That's contingent on Maddie not still being sick and me not going insane before then. Both very real possibilities.

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Tim is going out of town.

Pray for me.

Seriously.

This is the part where I may go insane.

What the Heck Do I Do All Day?

Since we keep hoping that a job will pop up for me at any second (I’m in the running for something right now, my first real lead, keep your fingers crossed) both of my children are still in daycare. We didn’t want to pull them out, just to have me find a job and then have nowhere for them to go on my first day. Which is pretty awesome if you think about it, I’m here alone most days, just me, the dogs, the TV, my computer and all that food calling my name in the kitchen. (I’ve lost five pounds though…Take THAT health and wellness program at the old company!)

Of course there's always laundry and dishes to do. And I've expanded my threshold for the drivel that I'll TIVO, just to have something to watch. Netflixs is going to mark our account as a frequent user and stop sending us movies so quickly if I don't calm down on the movie watching.

It has been nice to be here when Hudson and Maddie need to stay home because of illness. Maddie had pneumonia again a couple of weeks ago and Hudson has had a respiratory issue this week, so all those doctors visits have been scheduled and attended with no job related angst.

Maddie's bout with severe diaper rash this week kept her home yesterday for some diaper free time and she decided it would be a nice surprise to poop all over her crib. And both dogs have had some stomach related malady and Jax has decided he can't be bothered to lift his paw and tap on the door, he just poops.

Apparently all I have to show for myself is poop.

I've read a ton of books but have not gotten out Hudson's long neglected stocking to finish it.

Today, I have washed all the kids clothes and cleaned out their drawers for spring. I rearranged Hudson's room and took all the little kid books into Maddies' room. And then I at some pie.

I feel like I need to have something to show Tim once he gets home, like I haven't' been a total vegetable in the recliner all day. I do have to give myself some credit. I've only taken one nap without the kids here. I don't even remember why I was up too late or who had a melt down during the night. Oh, yes, that was the night Hudson decided that the hamburger and all the candy he ate needed to be regurgitated in my bed at 3 am. That was thrilling.

And to make this entry even more ridiculous and disjointed, here are some Easter pictures.

This was MY first Easter dress. The collar is a little raggedy but still - CUTE.

My wedding tiara.

If those boys don't look like trouble, I don't know what does.

And lastly - this was probably a mistake, but she really enjoyed it and the masterpiece is in her baby box. 

My Double Chin, Hudson, and Eleanor got Published

If you get a Kroger coupon magazine about toddlers in the mail - I'M IN IT!

Blah.

It's been almost five weeks since I got fired.

I've done 392 loads of laundry and unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher 281 times. I've taken Hudson to the emergency room with MRSA again. I've helped Nan with her tax season. I finished a big freelance tax return. I took Maddie to the doctor four times last week, assisted in two sets of x-rays, finally having her diagnosed with pneumonia. I've driven across town for a nebulizer and nebulizer medicine and held Maddie while I gave her that medicine and she screamed. I watched movies and more movies. I've watched all my TV shows. I've been to lunch with friends and been to the grocery store and the post office. I've picked up kids and changed thier clothes when the've played by the fence and gotten muddy. I've been to a networking meeting and scoured the newspaper for jobs. I've been to the unemployment office. I've picked up toys. I took items to the consignemnt store from my closet and marked 75 items of Hudson's to a big sale in town, and made some great money. I've filled dog food and water bowls. I've gotten up at 2, 3, 4 am with Maddie when she decides she doesn't want to stay in her bed anymore. I've put Hudson to bed and wiped noses and butts. I cooked dinner (a lot of those thanks to Once a Month Mom). I've cleaned out the pantry and all of our closets.

But no job. Yet.

So there's not much to talk about here.

AS the Wheel Turns Part 2

Apparently my brother has my same sense of urgency and dedication when promising to write and post.

So the day was finally here, the day that I would stand behind the infamous “Wheel of Fortune” and allow it to hopefully make my wife and I very lucky people.  Needless to say I didn’t get much sleep the night before – partly because of the time change, secondly because the beds were horrible, and lastly because I was so anxious for the whole experience to unfold.

 

An early morning wake-up call was necessary for me to be up and ready to be at the studios by 7:45 am.   Jolie, my dad Robert, his girlfriend Suzanne, and my Uncle Bill would all leave for the studios at a later time. 

 

I made my way down to the lobby where I would wait to catch a shuttle to the Sony Picture Studios with other contestants.  I was one of the first to arrive in the waiting area and as others made their way to the same area, you could see from a mile away the excitement on their faces was the same that I held.  It was like you knew what you were about to go do but yet you haven’t really seen it all yet to verify that this was indeed going to happen.

 

So over we headed on the wonderfully uncomfortable hotel shuttle.  The coordinators told us to come dressed as if we were ready to walk out and play the game immediately.  They also wanted us to bring a change of clothes.  They explained the extra change of clothes was incase there was a color/background conflict, or you ripped something, etc.

I think it was directed you bring extra change of clothes incase you wet yourself when you saw the wheel.  Hey, I am sure it has happened.  Luckily, it didn’t happen to me this day.

 

Once we got to the studios we were greeted and led down the yellow brick road (just kidding, but the Wizard of Oz was filmed at the same studios).  In the contestant ‘green room’, which amounted to a cramped meeting room, we started to hear of all the legal aspects that must be covered to make sure the games were legit and free of controversy.  The lady speaking as a representative from a legal firm was very clear on several aspects which included the fact that if we talked to anyone other than contestant coordinators (even if we talked to our family sitting on the other side of the studio) we would be disqualified and if we had spoken to a crew member, they would be sent home for the day without pay.  Sheesh.  You would think that the secrets to the world could be released or it was a matter of national security.  Not so much, but oh well, the gag order was installed.  After this scare, we had to sign lots of legal paperwork which then meant we were one step closer to the big wheel.

 

We were then told to follow one of the contestant coordinators…..where were we going?  You guessed it, to the studio.  There aren’t many things in life that you can recall so vividly as say, your wedding day or the birth of your first child, but the moment we saw the wheel will be one of those moments.  We walked in it was as shiny in person as it appears on TV.  Not as large as it seems on TV, but beautiful none the less.  The studio however was remarkably smaller than I had imagined.  Ahhh, the power of camera angles.

 

After a brief glimpse of the main studio, we were then taken back to the green room to begin going over the general game rules.  You would think that if you watch the game, you know what to expect, but surprisingly the rules they went over covered everything from A-Z and beyond.  All the while, two contestants at a time were called in the adjacent room to…..gulp……have make-up applied.  The only downer of the WHOLE day, but you know the High Definition camera will pick up any tiny flaw and every bead of sweat.  Lucky for me, the lady putting on the….gulp…..make-up was very nice.  She didn’t even mind covering up the pimple I had that was starting to show.  You may be saying to yourself (if you watched the show), “But I didn’t see a pimple” and I will give you her name because she was THAT good.  And as I apologized for the grossness, she explained that if I didn’t have that minor blemish, she wouldn’t have a job.  Good point.

 

After the make-up was done, we were then off to shoot our “home town hellos”.  Basically these were teaser commercials to be aired back in your area by the station that airs the Wheel of Fortune.  Before we went back out to the wheel to shoot this, we practiced in front of the other contestants.  Well, while one girl was practicing, she was just about to say her name to get the spot going and in walks none other than Vanna White.  Yep, that’s right….THAT Vanna White.  The same lady I had a crush on when I first started watching the show.  And for those of you thinking she was looking stunning in a gown and all…she was in jeans and a t-shirt.  Could that be possible?  Well, there she was and it was so surreal.  Plus, she is TINY.  Super small.  I think she probably wears an extra, extra, extra small.  Very small. [Ed. Just like me.] [Ha Ha.]

 

Well now that the excitement calmed down with her exit, we then headed out to film the ‘hellos’.  Immediately after filming the spot, we then were allowed to practice spinning the wheel and calling letters.  This was it…time to flex the golden arm that was going to land each contestant on the big bucks.  The wheel wasn’t too heavy or too light, it was, dare I say, just right.  The contestant coordinators taught us the proper technique for spinning the wheel.  And yes there is a technique. 

 

I felt like I was at a mini boot camp.  The coordinators were so fired up and trying to get you out of your shell shocked state of mind and loosened up.  They wanted you clapping non-stop, and smiling, and not looking at the wheel, and ready to call your letter, and looking at the ‘called letter board’, and clapping some more, and smiling, and projecting your voice.  I was more scared of them at first than I was with the upcoming taping, but I understand why they acted liked crazed workers.  They get you pumped up.  This wheel run through was also a chance for them to adjust your platform to ensure you could reach over the ledge and spin the wheel.  Each player stands on their own platform that can be adjusted with a hydraulic lift.  I am already a tall guy, so no lifting was needed for my spot.

 

While all of this was going on, we were still clueless as to who we would be competing against and what show we would be taping and where we would be standing on the stage (red, yellow, or blue).  Now was the time we would find out.

 

When we got back to the green room, we were informed of the people we would be competing against first.  My game competitors were a young lady from California and a young lady from Michigan.  Both of them were extremely nice.  After all the pairings were announced a person from each group was asked to come to the front and draw a numbered golf ball from a bucket.  Without looking, each person was drawing the number that would indicate which show their group would be filming this day.  All the contestants revealed their number at the same time and we would be on show number four.  I was happy.  We would get to watch a few other shows but we wouldn’t be the last.  Plus, we would be there beyond the halfway break (after 3 shows they take a break) and get to eat lunch.  Then, each show’s contestants (in the order of the taping schedule) were asked to come back up and you would draw for positions behind the wheel.  When it was our turn, I drew first and luckily, I drew the red spot. 

 

Now that we had gotten all the technical stuff out of the way, it was time to start the first show.  The contestants not competing at that time were ushered to the studio to watch.  However, we were all the way across the studio from our family and friends and couldn’t even look their way….that’s what we told.  Without going into detail about the three shows before mine, I’ll just say it was interesting to see how things happen when there are hiccups, technical problems, and embarrassing contestant moments.  I hoped to be apart of none of that.

 

As the time drew near to my shows scheduled taping, we were taken back to the make-up room and touched up a bit.  We were given the chance to use the restroom one more time.  And with all the nerves that were going on, it was a good thing there was one near.

 

We were then taken out to get behind the wheel, this time for real.  I could look out and see my wife and family sitting in the audience.  They waved crazily, and I just nodded and smiled as big as could be.  The executive contestant coordinator lets us take a couple of run-throughs spinning the wheel and calling letters again and that was it…..the time was here…..it was now or never…..hold on…..Charlie the announcer making the call for the taping recording purposes….This is Wheel of Fortune show number SO50019, airing on March 26^th, 2009, taped on February 5^th, 2009….and then those three words…..WHEEL     OF     FORTUNE!  It was show time!