Mrs. CPA

Dregs

You get the bottom of the barrel today. (As opposed to other days when I give you the best pickles from the top.)

Someone rear ended us yesterday. They were very nice, and I was very nice. It was some old folks towing a camper. I just got off the phone with the insurance company and we'll be getting three new car seats and an SUV to tool around town in while the mom mobile is getting fixed. I've tried to get Tim to buy cheap seats and spend the rest of the car seat money on tequila and hookers, but he's all "Think of the safety of our chhhhiiiiiiiiillllllllllddddddddddrrrrreeeeeeeennnnnnn." Spoilsport.*

My new job starts next week. I'm very excited to get my 10-Key back in action.

The swing set we bought this weekend for Hudson and Maddie and our nephews has taken over our garage. There's wood everywhere. It was all painstakingly laid out and labeled with chalk by me. It took Tim and his "helper", Hudson, only an hour an a half to put together the ladder last night. I think Tim and his Dad are in for a long weekend of screws and splinters. The kids and I are leaving town. Hudson is so damn excited by just the wood that he'll probably fall all over himself when he comes home to find the entire! play set! put! together! Y'all will be able to hear his squeals of delight in Alaska. I'll count it a success if the thing doesn't fall over with the first swing pump and no one ends up in the emergency room while building it.

We took Maddie and Hudson to Waffle House over the weekend. I fed Maddie her frou-frou organic baby food in the stickiest, grimiest highchair I have ever touched. I don't think they get much attention in the cleaning department. She was not wearing any shoes either. Hudson has discovered toast, and he would eat it for every meal, but he isn't touching a waffle. I'm not sure how many Patty Melts I ate in college with scattered smothered covered and peppered hashbrowns, but it was just as good as I remember it. And way faster then IHOP on a Memorial Day Monday.

Are you going to Blogher? If you are, you need to go eat lunch with us! I told you guys how much fun we had at our dinner at Blissdom, and now we're doing lunch in Chicago. Go here to sign up, and friend me on facebook. I need some more (juicy) updates to read!

For the record, my favorite summer TV show is So You Think You Can Dance. I'm sure you can all tell from my gorgeous dancer's body (*snort*) but I did take dance for quite a few years through junior high and high school. I still maintain that my teacher smoked crack before she picked out our costumes. Hot pink, sequin edged 50's jackets and poodle skirts - check - burgundy crushed velvet leotards and skirts - check - suntan tights with sear your eyes yellow and orange outfits - check. And we weren't allowed to wear underwear on stage. I broke that rule every year. No 15 year old should be anywhere without underwear. Anyway, I would say that I love SYTYCD more than American Idol hands down, but not more than The Mentalist or Lost.

Tim is picking up the kids today, so I am free until about 6:15. I plan on watching The Little Couple. I already ate all the guacamole. Sorry. (Can I just say that the hint of jalapeno Tostitos Scoops are the best thing to happen to chips since hint of lime? Don't argue with me. )

What else?

I think that's it.

I'll let you know how the first day goes.

*Y'all know I'm joking, right? I would never do this.

**Updated**Recruiters + CPA Firm + Me= I LOSE

Updated:  The recruiter called me this morning (I'm sure it took him a while to work up the nerve for that) and said that the recruiters had decided to take the firm's fee offer. How very generous of them. I'm sure it had absolutely nothing to do with the big ruckus I caused and the promise that I would let everyone know what a horrible experience I had. Or new employer letting them know they would never work with the recruiting firm again and would be happy to let every accounting contact they know what a fiasco this was. It was probably out of the goodness of their hearts. I don't really care either way - BECAUSE I HAVE A JOB! I start June 1. Thanks you guys, for listening to my craziness during the long haul. 

As you all know, I've been looking for a job since March. (Oh, Hi! I've been away for awhile, it's not you, it's me.)(You don't want to listen to my tales of laundry woes, and I don't want to talk about it anymore.)

I had an interview with a local CPA firm a few weeks ago. It went great! They liked me. I liked them. They made me an offer. I accepted that offer. So why am I not getting my suit to the dry cleaners for my first day? Because of the recruiter who sent me over to that firm. He and the firm can't come to an agreement on the fee for finding me. There's an outstanding fee agreement from 2006 that the firm didn't remember before they interviewed me, and they are legally bound by that contract. Which means that they can't just tell the recruiter to go jump in a lake, they have to follow whatever the rules are that they previously agreed to in the contract in 2006. The firm told the recruiter what they were willing to pay me (which was fine) and what they were going to pay him. He was not happy with that.

The recruiter could, if he were a nice person, take himself out of the equation, build some goodwill with me and with the firm, and say, "Hey, I don't want to cost either one of you this great opportunity, let me just step out of this deal." But he won't do that*. I flat out asked him if he would, and he told me that he had worked for free for three weeks (He faxed over my resume and called me about the interview. The majority of the work he did was try and negotiate his fee, which has nothing to do with me.) He should have been up front with the firm about what the fees were going to be and reminded them of the 2006 (FOUR YEARS AGO) fee agreement that was in place before I ever stepped foot in the place.

So the job offer I was so excited about last week? Is not going to happen because of this. I have talked to another recruiter friend of mine, and she has never had a problem getting paid from this firm, so what is the problem this time? I have no idea. And the bad recruiter DIDN'T EVEN TELL ME ANY OF THIS UNTIL I EMAILED HIM YESTERDAY. He didn't even bother to let me know that I was not going to be packing my 10 key and my favorite .09 yellow pencil and getting my certificates hung anytime soon like I thought I was. Maybe next time I need to go to the grocery store, I'll give him a call and see if he can help me out. Maybe we can "negotiate" something to pay my mortgage.

Don't work with Snelling, people. They are not your friend.

The other job I was the top candidate for decided to let the assistant try out the job to see if she could do it.

How come I keep getting the top pick but no job actually materializes? I'm discouraged.

*Look, I get that he's in this to make money. I totally get that. But don't you think that the negative publicity from this -both with the firm and with me and my contacts - is going to cost him much more in the long run? Of course it is. But he worked very hard for me! For! Free! I've heard that pressing some buttons on a fax machine is very time consuming and strenuous. And expensive.